"A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi..."

 This is the only "a Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi..." story I actually enjoy telling, because it turns on actual aspects of Catholicism, Protestantism and Judaism, and because it provides me with opportunities to add in accent and dialect.

A Catholic Priest, an Evangelical Minister and an Orthodox Rabbi were taking a break from a multifaith conference, refreshing themselves in a nearby forest.

"It was in a forest much like this one," the Priest said, a trace of an Irish accent in his voice, "when I startled a very fierce bear who reared up taller than myself by about as much as my arm can reach, and raised his monstrous paws, with his claws extended quite terrifyingly. I knew at once I was beyond any Earthly hope, and only Divine aid could save me, so I fished out the vial of holy water I always carry around my neck and dashed it in his hairy face and cried, 'In nomine Pater, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti!', and I give you my word as a man of the cloth, that bear dropped to his knees and rather than rending me with his paws, he clapped them together in the manner of prayer, and bowed his immense head, and I placed my hand on that head and after the fashion of Saint Francis I said, 'Bless you, Brother Bear', and the bear rose and lumbered away peaceably."

The other two men walked in silence for a few moments, and then the Minister said, "It's a remarkable coincidence, Father, that you should have had such an encounter, for as it happens, I had a rather similar experience myself, in a wood which was also much like this one. I, too, met a bear who menaced my life, and I, too, concluded that only the Lord could save me. Of course, my situation was rather more desperate than yours, since my own denomination does not hold with this notion of sprinklin' baptism. We require immersion, preferably in the natural water of a lake or a river, just as John the Baptist himself used. Fortunately, I came up agin' that bear close by to a clear-runnin' stream, so I grabbed a big double handful of that bear's hide and planted a boot in his belly and slung him into that water, landed on top of 'im and held him under while I recited a quick prayer, and I declare, when that bear came up out of that water, he roared out a cry that sounded just like 'HRRRR-LRRR-LOOO-YRRRH!' That bear an' I sat down on the bank of that stream and we fellowshipped for about twenty minutes, an' then we went our separate ways."

The Rabbi did not wait long after this before he snorted at the other two and said, "You guys think you got it hahd? You oughta try circumcising one o' them fellas!"